It’s a fact: people love to pepper pregnant women with questions. Lots of them. And while you can expect to be grilled at your doctor appointments, daily convos with friends, colleagues, and even strangers can start to feel like interviews, too. Some questions are fairly benign, while others can feel totally invasive. Looking for advice on how to handle them? We’ve got you. Read on for some of the most common questions and how to address—or, uh, deflect—them.
How are you feeling?
Expect this question from the day you announce your pregnancy until the day you deliver. In fact, at a certain point it’ll feel like it’s hard to have a conversation without being asked how you’re feeling. And while it’s a totally straightforward question, it can be a surprisingly tough one to answer. You may find yourself mentally weighing your options in the moment: Do you say you’re feeling well even if you’re not? Do you avoid jinxing your symptom-free pregnancy by admitting you feel pretty great? Do you get really real and tell everyone about your persistent nausea? You may want to put some thought into how you’ll answer this one, because it will come up…a lot.
Dodge it: A quick “hanging in there, thanks for asking!” covers most bases. It hints at the very real symptoms most pregnant women face, but it also shows you’re able to power through.
Do you know the sex?
If you do, prepare for squeals of “oh, boys are so fun!” or “little girls are the best!” If you don’t? Get ready for the follow up: “Do you plan on finding out the sex?” Again, easy enough to answer, but remember this: If you don’t want to know your baby’s sex or would prefer not to share the big reveal until after you give birth, that’s totally your choice. Don’t give in to the pressure of being asked all the time!
Dodge it: If you’re not willing to share the news, something like “we can’t wait to share that with you after the birth!” is a polite way of avoiding the issue.
When are you due?
It’s totally normal for close friends and family members to ask this one, but gear up for total strangers to ask, too. If you’re not comfortable sharing your due date with the random guy on the street, feel free to keep that info personal. Otherwise, you’re opening yourself up to comments like “wow, that’s going to be one big baby!” or “you don’t look six months pregnant, you need to eat more!” (Yes, people really say that stuff.)
Dodge it: “Not soon enough!” is a good one liner for bumps on the home stretch. If you’re still relatively early on in your pregnancy, saying “Oh, I still have a few months to go” allows you to keep it vague.
Were you trying?
Whether you conceived accidentally or after multiple rounds of fertility treatments, this information is something you’re totally not obligated to divulge. If you want to, feel free to share your story. If you don’t, keep that sensitive info on lock.
Dodge it: Try “We were incredibly happy when we found out” to avoid revealing any info you’re not comfortable with sharing.
What’s your birth plan?
A birth plan can be super involved, with directions for anything from the song you want playing during delivery to the spot in the hospital where your family members should wait out the news. Not into planning? A simple “just get the baby out” works, too. The truth? As long as your doctor doesn’t think you need a formal birth plan, chances are you’ll be fine just letting it all unfold without too much prep. So don’t feel unprepared if you don’t have a detailed answer to this one.
Dodge it: All you really need to say is “we’re working it out with our doctor.” That way, you can (hopefully!) nix follow-ups about why you’re planning a C-section, why you’re going for a drug-free birth, why you hope to deliver at home, why you haven’t created an elaborate plan yet…you get the picture.
Will you be staying at home or going back to work after the baby’s birth?
Ultimately, this one is your choice and not something you really need to explain to others — and if you’re still weighing your options throughout your pregnancy? That’s ok! It’s a tough decision, and one only you can make. It’s fine if you don’t have it all mapped out…no matter how many times you’re asked about your plans. And let’s be real: It can be a little frustrating to get asked this question repeatedly while the dad-to-be likely never has to deal with it.
Dodge it: Try, “I’m still thinking about what to make for dinner tonight. We’ll see how it goes!” This leaves the door open in case you have a change of heart or a shift in your family’s situation before you return from maternity leave.
Are you going to breastfeed?
When it comes to feeding a baby, things don’t always go according to plan. While you should feel free to discuss your plans if — and only if — you want, you should also keep in mind that your answer to this question can change over time. And while we’re on the subject, let’s make one thing clear: It’s totally normal if you’re weirded out by others prying into your eventual plans for your boobs. You wouldn’t be the first preggo to feel this way!
Dodge it: Not comfortable telling the world what you plan to do with your breasts? You’re under no obligation to let anyone in on the details. A response along the lines of “That’s something the baby and I will have to figure out together” makes for an easy out.